Let’s be real: most cold DMs feel gross on both sides.
And if you’ve ever stared at the screen wondering how to start a conversation without sounding like a bot or a desperate coach… You’re not alone.
Good news: you don’t need to pitch. You need to connect.
And that starts with the right kind of DM, one that’s rooted in curiosity, relevance, and actual intent.
Here’s how to do that and the exact messages that sparked real convos (and booked real Vibe Check calls).
First, Let’s Kill the Old Script
If your go-to line sounds anything like
“Hey! I help [insert niche] get [insert result]. Want to chat?”
Delete it.
That’s not a conversation starter; it’s a cold pitch. And it doesn’t work anymore (if it ever did).
Instead, we’re aiming for context-aware, low-pressure messages that spark actual dialogue.
Rule of Thumb: Lead with Curiosity, Not Conversion
Think of a DM as a handshake, not a sales deck.
The best outreach follows this rhythm:
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Signal relevance (why you’re reaching out)
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Start human (personal detail, observation, or shared interest)
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Open a loop (make them want to respond)
Use These 5 DM Prompts Based on Real Scenarios
1. After They Like or Comment on Your Post
“Hey [Name], thanks for the love on that post about [topic]. Curious, where are you in your own brand clarity journey?”
Why it works: It’s timely, personalized, and opens a door to their story, not your pitch.
2. After You See Them Asking for Help in a Group/Post
“Saw your comment about [problem], been there. Mind if I share a quick idea that helped me move through that?”
Why it works: You’re offering value without attachment. You’re asking permission to share.
3. When You Find Someone Clearly Aligned (But Cold)
“Hey [Name], found you through [mutual/hashtag/topic]. Your take on [specific post] was sharp. What kind of clients are you working with these days?”
Why it works: No pitch. Just rapport. And it gives them the floor first.
4. After Someone Opts Into Your Freebie or Vibe Check Page
“Hey! Just saw you grabbed the [freebie], excited to hear what stood out. Anything you’re stuck on right now that I can help with?”
Why it works: It’s casual, helpful, and opens space for them to engage if they’re ready.
5. To Reignite a Ghosted Thread or Past Lead
“Hey, this might be random timing, but I was thinking about our convo from a while back. Still trying to figure out [their struggle]? Got something new that might help.”
Why it works: Low-stakes re-entry that doesn’t shame them for not replying.
What to Do After They Respond
This is where most people drop the ball.
Here’s your next move:
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Keep the conversation focused on them
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Don’t rush the pitch; ask one clarifying question
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If it’s aligned, say something like
“Sounds like a good fit for a quick Vibe Check if you’re open. Totally no pressure, just a 15-min chat to see if I can help point you in the right direction.”
Simple. Clear. Respectful. That’s what gets booked.
TL;DR: Better DMs Start with Better Intent
🚫 No fake friendliness
🚫 No templates with “{{first_name}}” still in them
🚫 No sending 50 messages a day hoping one sticks
✅ Just real convos with people who need what you actually offer.
Skip the spam. Spark trust. Book real calls.
That’s how I’ve filled my calendar, without ads, without cringe.
